excitment!

As the days go by, it is starting to become more and more real that I am going to have two kids. I am so excited, in fact, that ALL I want to do is talk about it. All the time. It took us awhile to get this little peanut. I cannot wait until I feel her move, until I get a nice round belly... until people ask what I am having. I cannot wait for Collin to feel my tummy move. I cannot wait until Eric holds my belly, feeling her kicks. I cannot wait to have those moments alone, where it's just me and my belly, and just ENJOY it. I rushed through my first pregnancy and wish I would have cherished it more. I know I was miserable at the end, but I wish I would have enjoyed it more.

[excuse all the "her" references, we REALLY want a girl:)]

Anyhow, sorry if I talk about it too much, and I am sorry if I get annoying, but last time I had wedding planning to distract me. Luckily, I do not this time! I love this baby so much already... I just love being a mom.

Pregnant !!

We are so excited to be expecting baby number 2!

So far, this pregnancy has proven to be much different that my last, for a multitude of reasons.

1. I am not sick, I am STARVING. I want to eat everything in sight.

2. The cravings have started early. I could eat Chipotle and Pickles all day and be a happy girl. Seriously.

3. I am already gaining weight. I lost 13 lbs before I gained an ounce with Collin, but I have already gained FIVE pounds and I am only 6 weeks along!

We are so excited that God has blessed us with another baby and cannot wait to find out whether or not it is a princess or another prince <3

[I'm not going to lie, we are hoping it's a girl ;)]

Thanks to everyone for all of the prayers!

Romeo and Juliet

In high school, I truly hated the story of Romeo and Juliet. I thought it was ridiculous that 2 teenagers would commit suicide over each other dying. Then again in high school, I didn't really know what true love is. Now, I completely understand what Shakespeare's story was really about. The kind of selfless, untainted, PURE love that a relationship can have if it is between the right people.

As most of you know, Eric was in a pretty bad accident the other day. He hit a disabled car in the HOV lane that was stopped because it's wheel had fallen off the axel. He didn't see the car in time, and hit it at about 60 mph, which ended in him spinning across all lanes of traffic on the freeway and ultimately ending up on the right shoulder. Luckily, no other cars hit him, and he sustained only minor injuries that a couple of hours in the ER took care of.

Following the accident, after the shock wore off and I was sure he was going to be okay, I couldn't help thinking about what would have happened had he not have made it. If anything would have been slightly different, he could very well be dead right now. This is when I realized the truth in Shakespere's famous love story. If it weren't for the fact that I have Collin and it's my responsibility to take care of him and love him, I don't know that I could go on without him. He is my rock, my support, and my true other half. Now I understand how some elderly people go soon after their spouse, when faced with losing your spouse and love of your life, a piece of you truly leaves.

Now of course, this is scary. I mean, feeling as if you don't want to live if you don't have your spouse there with you... it is definitely frightening. Love makes you vulnerable. Love makes you fragile. However, I wouldn't trade this love I have for anything else in the world. It is worth every risk. It is worth every fear. It is comforting to know that I am so in love that it hurts sometimes. It is amazing to know that I have the man that I am supposed to be with for the rest of my life.

Growing up...

Collin is 17 months old now, and nothing short of a handful... but I wouldn't have it any other way. Finding him on top of the kitchen table, attempting to walk down the stairs, and throwing temper tantrums are all normal things around this house these days. However, with the rough moments come the moments where he blows kisses, or kisses the phone when daddy is on the phone on his break at work, or gives the tightest hugs... those are the moments that mean the most.

He is starting to talk more these days, although ball is still his favorite word. He runs to the garage door when you tell him it's time to go "bye, bye".  He is learning to love the word no, and shakes his head fiercely while he says it. He can somewhat eat with a fork and spoon, although he likes to steal mine.

His allergies are pretty manageable, although some days it really sucks. The allergist says that the only things he needs to stay away from 100% are eggs, oats, and any kind of nut. It definitely isn't as bad as we first though, when his tests cam back leading to wheat, oranges, and soy as well. His eczema still flairs up now and then, but nowhere near as bad and can be kept under control with a prescription ointment that is actually cheaper with our copay than anything we tried over the counter... it's only $7 for three tubes.

Seeing him growing up and becoming more independent makes us want another baby so bad, but so far... no luck. This past month was our 7th cycle of trying without success. My doctor found some functional ovarian cysts last year, and I am worried they are affecting my fertility, so I am meeting with a new doctor next month to hopefully get some answers. I am really hoping the problem is nothing serious, because we want another baby so bad. I dream about being pregnant a lot, and it makes me so sad when I wake up and it's all a dream. It's really hard when people ask when we are going to have another one, or I make one little comment that I am tired or don't feel good and everyone jumps to suggest I am pregnant... it makes me angry, sad, and annoyed.. but I try to be nice since I know they don't understand. I know God has a plan for our family and if another baby isn't it right now, I am going to have to live with that.

I start school in TWO months. I am so excited, but nervous at the same time. I can't wait to be back on track with my career goal, but its scary being a working mom, wife, and laying a full time college workload on top of it... but I am determined. I want to have my Masters by the time our last kiddo is in school so I can start my career. I know its a longshot, but I think I can do it.

This was all pretty much jumbled, but as far as life... it's okay right now. Eric just got transferred which is hard, considering he is pretty far away... but hopefully it will lead to a promotion sooner than later. I am so proud of how hard he works to take care of us.

I have been blessed <3

Updates

I know it has been awhile since I have updated, and I am sorry. It's hard keeping up with blogging with a little running around everywhere!

Collin is overall doing great. He is the sweetest little boy in the whole wide world and I am so lucky to be his mama. Some updates with him:

- He has to see an allergist on May 9th to be checked out. He has had such bad eczema since he was 4 months old. It finally got so bad that our doctor ordered a blood test to est for allergens. The results came back as positive for allergies to wheat, soy, egg whites, peanuts, oats, and oranges. We are at the point where we don't even know what to do at this point so he is still eating everything  he has been until we see the allergist. Our doctor gave us some cream that has kept his eczema under control, which is great.

- He has such a cute little personality and is getting soooo smart. His newest thing he has learned is to point to himself when we ask him "Who's mama's booger?!" It's adorable.

- He spins himself in circles to make himself dizzy.

Overall, he is just the happiest, giggliest little boy and I love seeing his brought little face every morning :) We are so blessed.

Full Fledged Toddlerhood

Well, I have finally come to the realization that I no longer have a "baby", I am the mother of a toddler. Collin is learning and changing so much, it is sometimes hard to keep up!

• He is walking and has been for about a month. He almost runs at time and it is so weird to see him walking around sometimes. 
• His favorite word is "ball", It is usually the first thing he says to us in the morning.
• He also loves playing with balls. He has ended up with SO many, because he points and says ball at the store and we just HAVE to cave sometimes.
• We haven't found a food he doesn't like yet. He eats everything we put in front of him unless he isn't feeling good.
• He has recently learned how to give hugs and they make my day.
• He has NINE teeth that have broken through, and 3 of those are molars!
• His sleep schedule is changing a bit and he is starting to wake up earlier in the morning.
• He has HUGE feet. He is going to be 14 months old this week and is already in a size 6!
•  He is in 18m-24m clothes.
• He is a CRAZY sleeper, so we will probaby hold off for about 6-9 months before moving him to a toddler bed. His head USUALLY ends up smashed into the crib rails and we will have to move him.

It is so exciting to see how much he learns and grows.

My Brother

So, as some of you know, my family is QUITE comfusing... to say the least.

Anyhow, I was adopted when I was a baby and I didn't know who my biological mom was until I was 18.

I knew her all my life as my sister, and her two boys were my nephews.

Her two boys were adopted out years and years ago when she got into trouble, and we figured we would never see either one of them again. After I found out they were my brothers, I really wanted to find them again, [I ALWAYS wanted to find them again, but this made the desire even more] but had no way of doing that... no last names... nothing to go on. I figured I would never see them again.

UNTIL. The other day.

One of them showed up at my moms house LOOKING for my sister! He did lots of research and low and behold, he found her! He then went over to my sisters house, and she called me.

There were lots of tears, lots of shock, but mostly... a lot of happiness. He is going to be living in Mesa now, going to ASU. I am so happy to be a big sister.

[This is the only picture I have of us together so far, I am sure there will be more... We look a lot alike, huh? ;)]