a little blunt honesty...

I have been trying not to speak too much about my miscarriages recently, mostly because I am jsut sick of people's responses.

I am sick of:
- Unsolicited fertility advice
- People acting like doctors
- Insensitivty

I am not trying to be rude by addressing any of this, but it needs to be said.

My biggest complaint?
People saying "Don't worry, you will have another baby."

A. It doesn't matter if I will have another baby. I have lost TWO babies. I didn't lose just an embryo or a fetus... I lost my child... I lost my son/daughter... not once, but twice.

B. I don't care if you have been through a miscarriage before and feel differently about the "embryo" or "fetus" you lost. To me, it was my baby. Both times.

C. Here are some statistics for you.
Only 5% of women will have 2 consecutive miscarriages. - I fell into that 5%.
After a women has 2 miscarriages, her chances of having a healthy baby are 60%.
Don't you DARE tell me I will have another baby. You are not God. You do NOT know. If I fell into the 5% that had two consecutive miscarriages, I can easily fall into the the 40% that will never have a baby again.

This makes me sound NOTHING but pessimistic, and I understand. I understand that I CAN fall into the 60% who will, but I do not need to be told that I will, when you don't know. I do not need to feel like I should just get over it because you think I will have more kids.

I just need to get this off my chest. Most of you probably didn't read until here, but that's alright. This was more for me than you.

Tomorrow will mark one month since I lost my last angel... This time last month I thought everything was fine. That kills me.